Chunk here, back by popular demand. The girl said there were lots of requests for my take on the day in the life post, so here it is – my full report on the riveting events of my Saturday. Can’t keep my fans waiting!
8:00 AM Someone keeps lifting up the covers and saying “I see you…” It’s the girl – she always wakes up too early on the weekend. Girl, I bury myself at the foot of the bed for a reason and it’s not because I know you love the view of my butthole.
8:04 AM Ugh, now she’s telling me to “Come here.” Seriously? We are sharing a bed – I cannot be any more “here” than I already am. Fine, fine, I army crawl my way up to where the pillows are to appease her. She hugs me too tight. I look to the boy for help but he just squeezes me from the other side. I make the wheezing noise so they back off.
8:09 AM The girl is playing with my lips. Serenity now.